ASL as a means to Mental Health

Editor’s note: This week David takes a look at how the hobby of TT Wargaming helped him through a tough emotional time. In this story, he reminds us that our games are not just about the counters, the figures, the little toy soldiers, but about the people across the table from us. The hobby can be community as well. And that can help us all.

By David Garvin

On the 4th of July this year, my mother died. She lived her last days at a hospice near the shores of the Bay of Quinte in eastern Ontario, Canada. Almost as if on cue after her passing, a pair of CF-188 Hornets of the Royal Canadian Air Force flew overhead as they conducted a series of touch-and-goes at nearby 8 Wing at Astra, Ontario. A fitting tribute, especially how much my mother loved going to the base to watch the air shows.

Personally, I was at my mother’s side in her last days, being able to visit with her while she was still lucid and able to ensure that her spiritual needs were fulfilled and being able to pray in her presence, finishing with an Angelus for her less than an hour before her death.

I spent 3 weeks at my childhood home, helping my mother in her passing and then in her final wishes. As such, my original plans for the summer were in need of amendment. I was to be in Virginia to participate in Human Wave, and then to Gettysburg for another gathering with fellow players of Advanced Squad Leader (ASL).

I was going to be off for about 3 weeks, was going to see many friends I hadn’t seen in quite some time, and of course to get some serious gaming in. As such, I did see many friends back home and did get exactly one game in during that time, but the one thing I didn’t get do was to grieve properly. I did pause from time to time, but once my mother was laid to rest in her niche alongside my sister, it was time for me to leave to head home and back to work. It was time for me to get back to my routine

So it was back to work, and soon received a message from a dear friend, asking if I was going to be able to attend his ASL Tournament, Tussle in the Tundra. Given how little thought I had been putting to ASL in the previous few weeks, I was initially hesitant, but then took the leap and committed to the travel to and from New Hampshire.

After all, the Tussle had been the first ASL tournament that I ever attended and it was always one of my favorites. It isn’t a large tournament, but it was always well-attended and the people there were always welcoming, patient, and kind. So, with that, I applied for leave and when the time came, I headed west to New Hampshire and soon found myself among many familiar friends. and with friends come a few pints and some tall tales!

As predicted, the tournament was well-attended, but certainly not crowded. There were many familiar faces, and also a few new (to me) faces. And having arrived early, I was there in plenty of time to get in a game on the day prior to the event.  As events would have it, this was to be my first face-to-face gaming experience since being home for my mother. And before that? I cannot remember how long it had been.

It had been too long! I admit, that in the immediate aftermath of my mother’s passing, my drive to play was rather absent. But now that I was in New Hampshire, I felt my desire return, albeit slowly at first. But as the dice were thrown in that first game, with me as an ANZAC force attacking defending Germans in Crete in 1941, I started to feel the rush that one gets in gaming.  I was back!

Although I did win my first match against Tom, I was not so successful in the main tournament. At least when it came to my win-loss record. But that didn’t matter to me.  My first game was against my good friend, Chuck, organizer of the Tussle. Our battle was set in the outskirts of Moscow, me with a German force attacking defending Soviets.

Then I was off to play another dear friend, Ted. This time, our battle was set in the ruins of Stalingrad. Ted succeeded in holding off my attack, so it was off to the third round for me the next day. But before then, it was time for social activities! We visited a nearby pub and had supper, a few drinks and some good tales. Many of our discussion was on anything other than the games we were playing. What kept coming up in conversation was how much we all enjoyed so much the aprés-jeux libations and other activities. It was during this outing that I realized just how much good this tournament was doing for me. I was able to share stories about my mother with my friends and through that, I was helping myself heal.

And there it was. Healing in a setting in which we were re-fighting some of the greatest battles of the greatest war of the 20th Century! Even though we were competing with one another, we were also cheering one another along, enjoying the crazy events found in many ASL Matches: Heat of Battle, Sniper Activation, Human Waves and even Banzai Charges! Heck, I even got a critical hit against a German Panther as it tried to outflank my position in Hatten, France! It was satisfying to say the least, as I placed a blaze counter on my victim!

That said, more important for me was the comradeship of Ed, the eventual winner of the battle.  And with that, it was time to go home. I made it as far as Saint John, New Brunswick that day and then home to Nova Scotia the next. Back to work, mind rested, and more importantly, well along the long path to mourn the loss of my dear mother. Now I can assure you all, my smile is now genuine!

Growing up in Belleville, Ontario, Canada, I had two or three regular gaming partners and I never thought it would become such a passion for me. It all started with Squad Leader and eventually ended up with Advanced Squad Leader, but it never seemed much more than a hobby for me at first. But as I got more and more into ASL, the more I realized how much I really enjoyed the people with whom I shared this passion.

It soon became less important about winning or losing the match. Now I look forward to meeting up with friends such as Keith, Chuck, Ed, Mark, and others! I have made many life-long friends in this hobby, and as I found out this past weekend, gaming has helped me remember my mother, who would often mutter about the maps on her “good” dining table, but never really complained that much.  Thanks, Mom!

David Garvin is an avid player of Advanced Squad Leader, hailing from Ontario, Canada. His gaming goes back four decades, dating back to his first game, back in the 1980s, on his mother’s kitchen table. Rest in Peace, mom, I promise to pick up after the game!