Winning by Losing at the Michigan GT KOW Tourney

*Battle of the Beards, where Andy Patton challenged former US Masters champ Adam Ballard. Loser shaves their beard! – Photo by Michael Carter*

By Troy Hill

Photos by Troy Hill and Michael Carter

As you might remember from my last piece on Kings of War, I’m at best, a middle-of-the-pack player in any game. I’m not a competitive player, at all. I don’t “Meta” nor “Net list” well. And I rival Mitch Reed for the bottom of the barrel when it comes to painting talent here on the NDNG staff.

My goal is to field an army that doesn’t look bad on the table, and spend the event time pushing models, joking with my opponents, and rolling a lot of dice. Perhaps even emulating a late Ambassador of the game, Jesse Cornwell, and calling upon “Pizza Jesus” to bless the rolls when I really need that 11 or 12. (OK, I didn’t do that at this tournament, since I was usually pretty far in the hole in each game. One extra set of boxcars wouldn’t have done much good.)

But, somehow, I managed to bring home one of the trophies from the event. It now sits on my fireplace mantle, surrounded by a bunch of “Benchies” I’ve 3d printed over the past few years. Getting a solid Benchie from a 3D filament printer was about the best award I expected in gaming.

So, what’s my secret to winning while losing? Even more important, what did I do to get a trophy?

Well, it started innocently enough when the CounterCharge Podcast started a Mantic Sponsored slow-grow painting challenge on their Facebook page.

I rarely win the random draws from such contests, but I was staring at a new Nightstalkers army box, and a few other bits and bobs I wanted to make an army from for the tourney. The Slow Grow was a great motivator to put color on models.

*The Phantoms for my Nightstalkers. You might notice a few details on the bases to bring the theme together.*

So I started painting. And Nightstalkers, being an army from between dimensions, with a Cthulu-like appearance, you know, the stuff nightmares are made of, seemed like a grand chance to try out the Army Painter speed paints. So I got to snipping, gluing, and speed painting.

I used the slap-chop method of a black undercoat (rattle can), then a gray Zenithal highlight (airbrush), followed by a white drybrush (downward only in most areas). I was impressed with the speed painting aspects for this army. Not a win the bottle of Goblin Blaster Rum from Ronnie Renton quality, but it’s passable and looks good if you keep a theme going.

My horde of scarecrows prior to finishing the base with snow and some pourable resin for ice. I added 3D-printed pumpkin heads, as well as evil snowmen and hungry yule trees to most bases to keep the theme going.

The weekend of the tourney arrived. I drifted in on Friday evening and started meeting the KOW community. THIS is what sold me on KOW more than anything. The community is welcoming, friendly, and among the least competitive of any game.

And the quality of the painters is outstanding. KOW really does lend itself to theming armies, and encouraging painters/players to build a cohesive force that looks great on their display boards.

I made sure to add a 3D-printed Tim Burton-style fountain to my baseboard. It really helped tie the room… errr…. the board together.

Adding a couple of small lights under the green resin of the fountain helped make my board pop! If only I could have added a small fog machine… You’ll notice Lock (pink near the fountain) and Barrell (in the walking bathtub). The only reason I didn’t have Shock (voiced in the movie by the late, great, Paul Reubens) was a failed print on a dying resin printer. Perhaps next year, Mr. Peewee.

Last year’s players’ choice award was the “Squirrel-Kin” army, a play on the Ratkin force from Mantic. I didn’t see anything that outlandish in the 2023 field. But my own take on the “Nightstalkers before Xmas” seemed to be of the same stripe as the Squirrel-kin of old.

*Rob Phaneuf’s Salamander force. Rob is a self-proclaimed “terrain guy” and it shows in how his display board blends with the unit basing of the lizards and amphibians.*

As I started meeting the players, many of whom I’d chatted with the year before, I started to put names to the voices I’d heard on the Counter Charge Podcast from time to time. Everyone was super-welcoming and had nice things to say about my Nightstalkers as I assembled the display board.

Looking around at others doing the same, I knew that winning either of the two painting awards would be a huge challenge. There were some totally awesome paint jobs on display. And with 30 players total, it was a crowded field for those two awards. One is judged by the TOs, and includes our own self-scores on what we feel is appropriate ratings on how we built and painted our own force.

Andy Patton’s dusty undead… would their warlord be as bereft of facial hair as the skeletons in his force on Sunday? If these first two armies I photographed were any indication of the painting and basing level, this was going to be an awesome set of painting competitors.

Since the TO-Judged painting award came with a bottle of Mantic’s own very limited Goblin Blaster Rum, currently in lockdown at Mantic CEO Ronnie Renton’s secret lair, I quickly saw my hopes of winning that award dwindle. But, I knew coming in I wasn’t a great painter. And there were plenty of forces better than mine.

Saturday morning arrived, and I found myself facing fellow Hoosier, Matthew Temple and his Goblin Trash horde. Matt’s force arrived on a sewer-themed display board, that featured a wanted poster or two, of some of the Mantic top brass.

*Who is that dastardly bloke, and what did he do to get the goblin king mad at him?*

This far out from the event (a month as I write this) my memory of the games is rather sketchy, kind of like a goblin’s memory of how that loot just happened to fall into the sack he is holding. So I’ll give a summary of each, and show some photos of the game.

*Matt T’s Goblins fresh from the sewers!*

One side note, the KOW community loves to add a special slot that each player gets to add to their army. In King Beyond the Wall up in Hamilton, we got a free “thing” slot, where we could build our own titan for the army. In this tourney (The Grand Prix, because Co-TO Blake Shrode loves his Iron Maiden, Kings of War, and auto racing) players got to include a “chariot” model. Blake and Michael Carter, the other TO, assembled a set of special rules for the chariot, with some customization available for players to choose special abilities.

For me, I pretty much just used my special chariot as a flying beast. It was fun looking at others’ chariots and making mental notes for my force next year. There were some awesome models on the tables.

*Matt T.’s chariot model. A goblin in an easy chair with a brewski, on a gator! Love it! He got my vote for best chariot!*

Game 1:

My strategy going into the tournament was to fight my way to the wooden spoon. Last place, with five fun games, was the best win I could imagine. And, I heard that Wooden Spoon came with some free dice!

For the first game, we played Pillage. Control of the objectives was the goal. But, with me still learning the game, I was more interested in figuring out what my army was good at. So I went more aggressive than I normally play, just to see what happened. Basically, I figured out what it was bad at, more than the good. Perhaps that is what I was bad at as a force commander. Oh well, wooden spoon, you’re mine!

*My Soul Flayers take on something from Matt’s force. I lost track of which goblin was which, as one is want to do when faced with so many little green bodies.*

Little did we know that just a few tables away, the grudge match of the century was going down. Andy Patton had challenged 2022 US Masters champ, Adam Ballard, even calling him out via a YouTube video. The winner got to keep their beard, and the loser had to shave. Such is the community of KOW players. It’s all fun and games until someone loses their whiskers. (See the photo at the top of the story.)

*Here I learn just how cheap in points goblins really are.*

Back to my game, Matt and I ended up in a tie with objective points, but Matt almost doubled the massacre points. I discoverd in that game that goblins are cheap, points-wise, and it’s difficult to get ahead on that scale.

Some more armies and their excellent paint and basing.

*Kara B’s Riftforged Orcs. I love the basing theme of the “abyss/rift” she used.*

*Marshall Temple’s “chariot” complete with chainsaw wielding figure fighting off the deadites of Marshall’s undead legions.*

Game 2:

Worried that my first-round tie was putting me ahead of Felix Castro, as we both quested for the Wooden Spoon. Felix is a super great ambassador of the game and readily acknowledges he’s in my class of players. Low to mid tables at best. So we quickly developed a rivalry in our quest for the bottom of the pack.

*My nemesis for the wooden spoon, Felix, is so serious about it, he brought a tool belt. Hmmmm… could it be an advantage? – Photo by Michael Carter*

For my second round, I drew many-time master’s player, Jesse Berglund. Hmmm…. perhaps I could drop below Felix after all.

Jesse and I ended up in a mirror match of Nightstalkers-on-Nightstalkers. However, Jesse’s force looked to have been built and painted before Mantic released their full line of models for the army. His force had a lot of undead models fulfilling the various roles. I doubt that we had any units that looked the same.

*In which I learn that shadow hounds are a right pain in the arse.*

This was a handicap for me, but is the nature of the game being model agnostic. I was starting to learn what my units were, and what they could do. But looking at the same unit, comprised of different figures was an added challenge.

However, Jesse was an awesome opponent. I have a hearing impediment, and my hearing aids cancel noise behind me fairly well. Our table was at the edge of the room, so deciding which table side each player got might put me facing the wall of noise from the Bolt Action, 40K, and AOS tourneys. After we placed objectives, Jesse graciously let me have the side that helped my hearing situation.

Throughout the game, Jesse helped teach me both the rules and how my army operated. Don’t misunderstand. He still thrashed my force. But it was a great learning game. He’d often let me move a regiment or two, then point out where I’d left a flank exposed. Then he’d suggest that I pull that last unit back to remedy the faux pas.

I’ll put him down as both a gentleman and a scholar, as well as a challenging opponent.

We played Salt the Earth, with Jesse getting the win, and about 1800ish attrition points to my 1100ish.

A couple more armies:

*Jeff Franz shows how display boards can really add to the character of an army. Note his “chariot” beast with racing number in the lower left.*

Game 3:

For my third game, I drew Karl Habig and his skittering horde of goblins. Hmmm… more goblins. Would I end up in another draw, and let Felix drop below me in the standings? I hoped not. That wooden spoon was calling my name. Could I succeed in snatching it in defeat?

This was another fun game as I discovered yet another way goblin rabble are annoying. Karl built his force using the exploding formation. The fleabag riders were comprised of old GW sculpt of night gobbos on spiders. the two regiments in the formation had explode-o-matic special rules that did additional chip damage to my forces in combat. His non-formation troops even had a hoard of fleabag riders. Add in a few bangits, trolls, a slasher, etc, and it was a different feel for a goblin force.

I did have fun charging willy-nilly around the table, not worrying about the scenario. Since I had little experience in the game, this event was more about learning my army, and getting a taste of the other forces.

*My Shadowhulk, aka Oogie Boogie, prepares to charge after the trolls pound my phantoms.*

This round’s scenario was the special one designed for the Grand Prix theme. It was something about our chariots charging in to get our own flag, and the rest of our force trying to pick off the opponent’s flag and chariot.

*My Bloodworm horde, which Mantic doesn’t make models for, were proxied with gift mimics in a field of teddy bears. Here, they’re probably about to get exploded on by fleabag riders.*

Karl squeaked out a win (or whatever sound spiders make), three scenario points to two. And I closed in on attrition points. Still in a deficit, but not as bad as my last two games.

More armies:

*Some more of Rob P’s painting. I loved the color scheme he had going.*

After three rounds, we all ended up heading to a local pub. Much chatting, recapping, and good food was had.
Early the next morning, we stumbled into the gaming hall, ready for another two rounds of battle.

Day 2:

*I think these are Nathaniel Johnson’s Free Dwarves.*

Game 4

For this round, I drew Greg Purcell and his Nightstalkers. I wasn’t sure how this matchup would fare in my quest for the wooden spoon, but I need not have worried.

*Greg’s nicely detailed and modified Nightstalks from the Halfling pumpkin patch*

And this was a fun matchup mostly because of Greg’s excellent army. Looking at our two forces, I could see a huge difference in painting and modeling skills. Where I went for theme in basing and display board, Greg put his skill into making each model fit the theme. Every one of his core models showed the idea of these nightmares crawling from the earth in the Halfling’s pumpkin patch.

*One of Greg’s two terrors, looking like a Cthulu-esque Great Pumpkin, waits to charge.*

Greg chose to 3D print some of the additions but used mostly Mantic models for the base of the force. Again, he took advantage of the model agnostic ability of the game and proxied in a giant turkey and another 3D-printed monster for his Terrors and his Void Lurker.

He also 3D-printed pumpkin heads for his scarecrow models. Just as I did for mine. I predict that will become the norm since the sprues for the Scarecrows also do double duty for the doppelganger unit. Scarecrows are a natural fit for pumpkin heads.

*Greg’s Chariot. Perhaps another take on The Great Pumpkin? The only thing missing from his force was a kid with a blanket asleep in between the pumpkins….*

I totally forget which scenario we played. Greg and I were two of the newest players to the scene competing in the tourney, so many rules were forgotten, misunderstood, or misapplied. However, amid all of the pumpkin carnage a fun game was had. I, of course, lost by a little and forgot to take a photo of the score sheet.

*Greg’s sunflower reapers tear into my scarecrows… One person called it Autumn vs Winter. A battle of the seasons.*

With the loss, I might have gained on Felix in our quest for the wooden spoon!

More Armies:

*John Becker’s ogres. “You don’t see anything here, mind your business…”*

Game 5

Here I drew Jason Black as we battled for the lower tables. Up ’til now, I’d been fighting Felix Castro for the wooden spoon award. But there were some other players low in the standings.

Jason and I would be playing Dominate. Nightstalkers against Halflings.

*The dreaded iron beast and its halfling chefs serving up soup for all who get in its way.*

When I was playing my Dwarf army in the few games I had prior to this tourney, I always had a problem with the Halfling’s iron beast, as my Dwarves were always hungry and loved to get hosed by the soup cannon. Silly Dwarves. I hoped the Nightstalkers weren’t as hungry and I might be able to route the blasted thing this time.

We deployed our chariots on opposite flanks, which meant the other had to deploy resources there to head off the threat. Jason’s army was another with some great painting and conversions. The field for best painted was getting crowded.

*Jason’s Chariot moved early to threaten my right flank…*

In dominate, we battle for the center of the table. However, the flanks, I discovered, have their role to play as well. With our chariots on either end of the board, we’d both spread our forces out to compensate. Shepherding the forces to not get tangled in a battle outside of the central dominate point was something I had to consider.

We had three central battles develop, both flanks and the center. We both did a lot of maneuvering to not get trapped by terrain and still be able to contest the central circle at the end of the game.

*Shadowhulk/Ooogie Boogie doesn’t have time to mess with Jason’s war doggies, and my fiends are ready to pounce on the braves in the woods*

We ended up in a near tie, but Jason eked out a bit more unit strength at the end. I, however, had my first game where I came out ahead in attrition points, 875 to 835. And my Terror was able to slurp up the Iron Beast’s soup longer than the dwarves would have.

The Results

Mike Carter has a ton more pics, and links to the full tourney results on his blog. I recommend taking a look at it.

For the Players’ Choice best paint, I voted for Greg Purcell’s Pumpkin Patch Nightstalkers. I figured it would be in the running for the TO-scored version of Best Paint. For the players’ choice, all armies were considered, but the TO-scored version (combo of self-score from the player, plus TO score) had a requirement to be mostly Mantic figures in the army.

Having judged paint before as a TO, I didn’t envy Mike and Blake’s job sorting through all of those armies.

As for the best chariot, that was a player vote as well. I knew my own was decent on the theme side, but I wasn’t happy with my modeling job of trying to force a 3D print of Jack Skellinton into a too-small Santa sleigh.

*My flying chariot, helmed by Jack Skellinton, pulled by Zero, with trick-or-treater “Barrel” on the back.*

Blake and Mike began the awards by showing off a clean-shaven Andy from the battle of the beards in round one. After that Wooden Spoon winner was announced as Frank Habig. I was 26th out of 30, and Felix had a slightly less stellar standing, finishing 27th. Perhaps next time, Felix!

Adam Ballard, the collector of beards, took first place, and got his name added to the Grand Prix cup!

*Adam Ballard, with his beard intact, left, and Blake Shrode. Photo by Michael Carter.*

For Best Paint, and the bottle of Goblin Blaster Rum, Blake announced that my choice, Greg Purcell’s pumpkin patch Nightstalkers got the win!

*Greg and Blake. Photo by Michael Carter*

For the Best Chariot, Jeff Franz won. You can spot his “chariot” in the lower left of the Lava Walls Salamander’s army somewhere above.

Blake moved on and asked Mantic North American Sales dude, and all-around swell guy, Kyle Przelenski, to talk about the Jesse Cornwell Award. Kyle and Jesse often played games on Kyle’s Master Crafted youtube channel. It was there, that Jesse announced the was fighting cancer, and passed away from it in 2021.

However, Jesse was such a great ambassador of the game, that Manic created an Ogre Warlock figure with Jesse for his favorite faction. Mantic donates a portion of every warlock model to charity to honor his memory and impact on Kings of War.

Jesse was also well known for invoking “Pizza Jesus” to bless his dice. He’d pull the request out often in tournament play, and on the Master crafted channel whenever he needed something special in a die roll. Usually, an 11 or 12 to route or waver a unit. And he’d roll exactly that. You can find many examples over on Master Crafted Channels. The staff with his Ogre Warlock model commemorates the Pie and the Slice he often praised after his die rolls.

And the award for best sport score was named in Jesse’s honor.

I was gobsmacked when Blake called my name.

How the heck did that happen?

*Blake and I, with the trophy depicting the high priest of Pizza Jesus, holding his two pizzas and standing on a die. Photo by Michael Carter*

Not only that, Blake told me to stay standing for the next award. Seems I got the most votes for Player’s Choice. Evidently, a good theme that resonates helps despite a speed-paint approach.

*My Nightstalker Before Xmas army. A lot of Tim Burton inspiration in the basing and display board.*

Yes, I already have a new army and a new theme chosen for next year’s Michigan GT. Maybe I can do a good enough job to get the next bottle of Goblin Blaster Rum…

Hmmm… judging by the quality of the painters at this event, that’s going to be a tall order. Perhaps if I call upon Brother Jesse to send the blessings of Pizza Jesus onto my paintbrushes?

Troy Hill is a long-time gamer, starting with AD&D back in the 1980s. He’s edited FR-16 for TSR, and chases typos while flogging NDNG authors to get their photos centered and sized correctly. In his spare time, he writes paranormal mysteries under the pen name Alyn Troy. And, he won’t be growing a beard, nor challenging Masters levels players any time in the future.